A foundation approached me a few months ago. They are the Children of Fallen Patriots. They wanted to know if I was a student and if they could assist with tuition, books, etc. Unfortunately, I had already graduated and told them so. I assume then, that there was nothing they could really do for me.
She casually said, "Oh, well how much are your student loans?" I told her... nearly $50,000. She says, "Okay, we we can take care of that for you."
What?!
I was dumfounded and in a state of complete disbelief. I've operated on the "I'll believe it when I see it" wavelength concerning "Dad stuff" since I've been lifted up and let down so many times. The VA has jaded me.
Some paper work (tedious but totally worth it) and several weeks later, and my balance with the federal government is ZERO. And then it got real.
I have so many emotions. This is great, but at what cost? I'm getting this "handed" to me because of an immeasurable loss. What about others like me, who lost their Dad, but not in these circumstances? My best friend lost her Dad in a freak accident. No massive amounts of money handed to her. I feel a bit of guilt. I also feel a little legitimized or... understood. It is easy to be "forgotten" or have DAD forgotten. My emotions and the struggle I've gone through is... sort of recognized. It's really hard to explain (or even for ME to understand).
When it comes down to it, though, NOBODY graduates with their BA (especially if they took as long as me) with NO debt. It just doesn't happen. This is a bigger gift than just throwing me money. This will impact the rest of my life immensely... and in ways that I probably don't yet understand.
Granted, I'm going between and smile, a look of confusion, and then sadness... but ultimately, this is a BIG smile sighting.
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